Remember when I said I’m not great at moderation?
Yeah… about that…
So, today was terrible.
I thought I could reintroduce a little bit of sugar, just to see how it went. It went terribly.
It’s about 11.30pm now, I’m nauseous and anxious and clammy. I haven’t had dinner. (Too nauseous to eat and too exhausted to cook.) I’ve had loads of snacks in the meantime though. I was going to exercise and I didn’t. I’m too wired to sleep, but too tired to do anything other than doom-scroll and binge-watch.
Just in case you had any doubts about the impact of sugar on my life and (mental) health.
I think maybe I should try to set some new rules, because rule-free me is a fucking toddler on coke in a candy store.
(Disclaimer: this is something that tends to work for me. If you have a history of disordered eating, setting hard rules around your food intake might not be the way to go. Please discuss with your therapist of health care provider before proceeding.)
My (try-out) guidelines:
- No sugar before 4pm on a regular day (I’ll make exceptions when I’m in Paris, because I really want to get a pain au chocolat). If I start too early, there’s no saving the day.
- No sugar on an empty stomach (because I’ll try to cure the hunger with snacks and it’ll just turn into more snacks and more hunger). In other words: eat real food first.
- No sugar after 9pm. (This has been a solid rule for about two years now, because I keep everybody awake if I don’t stick to it, so this is easy.)
- Try to choose quality foods or foods that you really love. No endless supply of cheap supermarket cookies for the sugar high. (But, by all means, travel an hour to your favourite vegan cafe or patisserie to get quality treats).
These aren’t hard rules, because I want to be chill around food most of the time, but I like having some sort of framework to go with. (Otherwise, I’ll end up arguing with myself all day.)
If you stick around, you’ll find out that’s how I live most of my life: set a few boundaries and use them to do whatever the fuck I want.
With many regrets,