My partner is on a business trip, and I am home alone. (Note: I publish with a delay, so he’ll be back when you read this.)
I’ve been slipping a bit. In life, not in the Sugar Challenge. (I decided I’d had enough slip-ups for the month; two is plenty.)
After a few months of travel, loads of people around, and generally living life with both of my feet planted far far away from my comfort zone, I am exhausted.
I don’t have any new routines yet, but I’m trying.
I can’t seem to motivate myself to work at my usual pace. (Yesterday, I spent 9+ hours listening to an audio book, while hanging out and doing some mundane tasks.) I had my solo date, but I forgot to listen to myself at all. (Oops.)
Hours are slipping through my fingers like sand. Where does the time go? I blink and it’s 2pm. I blink again and it’s bedtime.
I’m craving a new hyperfocus, but my brain is so full. There’s no space.
I kept trying to Hulk-smash through the mental blocks until I realised:
What I really need is a break.
My body is screaming at me to slow down, to listen. To get on my mat and check in with myself.
It’s easier not to listen if what you’re hearing isn’t so fun.
Stress, grief, depression, anxiety, burnout, or other challenging brain states are so likely to make you feel avoidant.
Of course it’s easier not to sit with myself, but I have to.
I shut down my laptop (with multiple open tabs saying things like “how to get motivated”, “how to increase energy”, and “burnout symptoms”) and opened my Headspace app on my phone.
I don’t like it, but it’s time to get quiet.
My brain is nowhere near still, but it actually feels good to slow down and listen.
If you’re in a similar place, this is your cue.
Wishing you the strength to fight a bear or sit with your scary feelings (I’m guessing they’re equally hard),