“I really really really really really want to be on stage again.”
That’s how I ended last week’s reflection. The following Monday, I got a phone call. Four days later, I was back on stage, as a choir member in a big production on Dutch national television.
Thank you, Universe.
This week was pretty magical. From music to business meetings, everything seemed to be absolutely perfect…
…until it wasn’t.
The second half of the week was mostly filled with pretty severe anxiety, and I completely crashed on the weekend; spending two days sleeping, eating, and trying to get back on my feet.
(Side note: I have a long history of anxiety. This is not the book’s fault! 🙂 I just want to be really honest with you.)
The multiple page essay about crazy-makers felt unnecessarily negative and repetitive to me. I don’t quite know why, but it didn’t feel quite right. (If you read the book, I’m curious how you feel about this. I read this part right before falling asleep, and that was not the vibe I was going for.)
This is the part I liked the most:
When I’m not sharing my personal reflections with the internet, I actually tend to be quite a private person. I love writing in the dark, and filling notebooks nobody will ever read. I love that Julia Cameron seems to have given me explicit permission to create this space, just for me, without feeling guilty about “keeping secrets”.
This part is vital for my creativity. Knowing that nobody will ever read what I write in my morning pages has made me get really honest with myself, and there is such freedom in radical honesty.
I want to leave you with this quote. “Remember that it is far harder and more painful to be a blocked artist than it is to do the work.” I have felt this to be so very true.
Even if the work is challenging, difficult, time-consuming, or stressful – it still feels much better than not living in alignment at all.
I’d love to hear what you think!